Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hello there.....

I didn't know how else to start today's post. I had to complete an in-service on-line for school. I have put it off and put it off until I finally had to do it. It was on teen suicide. We had to go to www.jasonfoundation.com and watch a hour and a half video and then complete some questions.

The time was long, and that's one reason why I didn't want to do it, but after watching it I realized what the other reason was. It's the fall season, and how I always remember a guy I knew from college who committed suicide. He wasn't a super-close friend or even a guy that I hung out with much, but it really affected me. I went to a small, private school that only had about 1200 kids. I can say kids now, we only thought we were mature at the time. He and I were in a scholarship program together. The year we started college was the first year for this program. There were 25 of us and we were really close that year along with our advisor, the college chaplain. I even worked for that chaplain in school and he married me and my husband. We did service projects together, goofed off together, and played countless games of trust and getting to know one another. Christi, do you remember Casey? Robin and the Rolling Stones!!

By our third year, there were 75 of us and we had all found our spot- our own group of friends, sororites/fraternites, our own niche. That first year group drifted. We still saw each other at our monthly meetings and things but it wasn't the same. In the fall of our Junior year, right after bid turn-in, he went home to see his parents. I think he lived a few hours from the school so it was an odd thing to do. He asked for his favorite dessert, went upstairs, and killed himself. Oh, the gossip flew and things were said. Like I said, small school.
It's the first time I saw a grown man weep and sob. It was the first time I really realized that ministers were human and felt pain. It was the first time I could not feel empathy for someone. I was furious that with all the people that he knew; he didn't ask for help. I had just seen him the week before, couldn't I have seen something? I was so mad about the situation. Did he not realize that he could have survived whatever pain he was in? I remember sitting in the chapel with Christi and Mia expressing my thoughts and Mia trying to explain to me how someone could truely feel that hopeless. And Mia, dressing me down, if I remember correctly. It affected me that way so much because even though I have been depressed in my life and wanted my hurt to go away, I knew that if I would just hang in there, things would change.

I have grown and matured and can now empathize/understand much more how people feel that way. Sometimes, we can not make someone snap out of it. This Jason Foundation is trying to help educate people about this "silent epidemic" of youth suicide. So, pay attention to the young people in your life and realize that what we may realize and have learned, they may not be there yet.

Sorry for the soapbox today, just wanted to share this with everyone. Thanks!!


WheresMyAngels said...

Robin, I can relate to the post because I tried to commit suicide when I was 18. I drove my care at over 80 miles into the bottom of a bridge and rolled it three times. I didn't know it then but I suffered from depression, heck I didn't even realize it, til years later. I know there was HUGE warning signs that my parents could have seen if they were educated about it. I talked about death, I wrote poems about it and drew horribly sad paintings. I will also admit that if I had not been drinking that night, I wouldn't have tried it. But it had been in my mind for years. My parents know that I tried to kill myself that night, my father always thought I did, but I never admitted it til a few years ago. I'm very open about it because I want people to understand that sometimes people aren't in their right mind. I wasn't back then. My father did tell me that after I gave birth to my first child Mercede that he had never seen me happier. It did make a difference because I had someone depending on me and whom loved me for me.

Lynette said...

Thanks for sharing this, Robin!

Robin said...

Angel- but you hung in there and got to see some happiness. Thank God for that. It is so sad that some people make that decision and don't know what good things could be in store for them. Thanks for sharing your story with me and everyone else.

Lynette- looking forward to seeing you guys.

Lula! said...

This is a good soapbox to climb upon! Good stuff, Robin!

Anonymous said...

I remember this. I was not as close. I am like you, I can get really depressed, but always have an outlook and get myself out of the rut..

I can't even remember this guy's name, but am confused, b/c didn't someone get hit by the train... Or am I confusing the two?

As for the doctorate... Go for it Dr. Robin...

Love Christy

ChristiS said...

I agree with Christy, go for the doctorate! I know you can do it!

I think of Scott this time of year, and of Keith Tickles too. Esp. with being at Emory in the fall, it comes to mind. I'll never forget the despair that came over me when Dr. Thompson told us. Looking back, I pretty much had a panic attack in class that day. How horrible. Seems like yesterday in a way.

Thank you for sharing this...I wish it was something we hadn't had to experience together, but if I had to go through it, I'm so glad I had you by my side at the time...and always! Love ya!